Orlando

Right now – I have a heavy and troubled heart. Early Sunday morning, something terrible happened at Pulse in Orlando. A gunman opened fire and murdered innocent people. There are not enough words to express the sorrow or how my heart goes out to those who lost a loved one or a friend.

In the coming days, we will hear a lot of talking from the usual places. It is best that we keep a few things in mind, especially if we are going to share news or memes.

1. People lost someone they love. Respect that and respect their sorrow.
2. Do not use this as your political tool. If you truly want to help and if you truly believe that something you believe can help prevent these tragedies or minimize them at least, then write your Congressman, reach out to lobbyists, and offer your opinion on surveys that think-tanks send out. If you share those ideas, remember number one. People are hurting right now, and you might know some of them.
3. Do not become blind to what happened. We are still learning the full extent of this terrible event. The most important things to remember, however, is that a man made a choice and hate informed that choice.
4. Do not let hate in your heart in this. Do not blame other innocents for the murder of innocents.

Though I am tempted, I will not wax political about this. Instead, I will just offer this: my thoughts and my prayers to the survivors and to those who lost someone dear. Nothing can replace what was taken and we can only mourn for and with you.

At Her Service

What would you do with a man whose only concern was serving you?

I and several other romance and erotica authors tackled that question in one form or another in a box set that was released for Valentine’s Day. It’s my first anthology to write for and I enjoyed it. I got to work with some amazing people and see just what goes into a project like this.

I pulled part of a review below for my story, Helen and the Man from Troi. It made me smile to see the review, so I wanted to share it. My story only gets a few mentions among the reviews, but most of those mentions are positive. I will certainly not turn my nose up at a 3 1/2 star review.

Helen and the man from Troi: [Adam] is a BDSM slave with both a master and a girlfriend. He has also recently completed manservant training. Helen loves her routines and order. She has also recently broken up with her boyfriend and seems to be grieving more than just the loss of the man. Helen’s roommate Olivia is more of a wild child and wants to help Helen open up a bit more and try new things. She hires [Adam] as a present, to serve Helen for a day. I was surprised how much I liked this one. I don’t tend to enjoy BDSM in general. But this story was more of about Helen learning to let go a bit and let someone take care of her. Unlike the rest of the stories Helen and [Adam] aren’t headed toward a long term HEA (at least not with each other), but it was nice to see just a simple story of give and take and caring for another person who needs a break from the norm. (3.5 star) — reviewer Ly G

 

Holle Is Happy Today

Just in case you are living under a rock, in a deserted area of the country temporarily without internet, radio, or television (then how are you getting this?), or just have not had a chance to hear –

The Supreme Court just ruled that the various same-sex marriage bans that have been going around many states still are unconstitutional.

Here’s a link to one of the NPR articles.

Just in case you’re wondering, here’s how the change looks for the country.

Courtesy of NPR of course.

I think my favorite part was Alito asking, if we allow 2 gay men to marry each other, why not 5 of them. To which I would have to say – yeah, why not? If 5 consenting adults want to enter into a marriage contract together, without coercion etc, then they should be able to.

That, however, is for another day.

Right now, we will rejoice because this country has finally taken a step forward again.

Is It Natural?

I see this word a lot in BDSM circles – on line anyway.

• “I am a Natural Dominant.”
• “I am a Natural Submissive.”

Now, I’ve talked about this before when I talked about the Natural Submissive, and what I see far too often – people looking down on those they don’t perceive as being “naturally submissive.”

The Difference Between Fantasy and Fiction

I love writing erotic fiction. I sometimes enjoy reading it.

Sometimes.

I do not like erotic fiction that blurs lines of consent or is disrespectful – to women, to men, to the community it is writing about, etc. Sometimes when I voice this, people will say “but it is only fantasy.”

And this is wrong.

There is a difference between fantasy and fiction, and I am going to explain that.

I think it is something that many erotica authors either miss or ignore, and our genre and its sub-genres hurt for it. Erotica can be erotic and it can still be respectful. It can sexualize respect and consent and be an incredibly erotic story. You just have to understand what a fantasy is, what drives that fantasy, and how to turn it into erotica.

Fifty Shades of Virginity Fetish

My apologies, gentle reader, for not updating in a while. I have been very busy, and I am working – again – on my time management. That being said, I have had something I have wanted to write about for a while now.

The Virgin Fetish.

Respect in BDSM Erotica

If you head over to StreetWraith Press After Dark (I linked around the 18+ warning because if you are going there from here, you should already be 18+ … you’re welcome) you will see a review with a similar title as this article. My first review of another author’s erotica. I hope that you find it enjoyable and that it stimulates your mind enough to want to buy the story. It’s a good one. Emily Ryan-Davis came highly recommended to me, and I recommend her as well.

What gripped me about Claiming Lauren and has me reading the rest of the eXclave series is the respect she pays to the Lifestyle and, most importantly, the safety and protocols that are so important in it. I wanted to expand on that idea a little more than I did in the review. The review was about Emily’s book, after all. Here, I can get on my soap box and talk a little more about Holle.

So let’s do so.

Thoughts on Erotica

So some time ago, I had a commission piece requested that was … difficult. It was not difficult to write. I have been very fortunate that all of my clients, without exception, have been respectful of my limits as an author, even one of BDSM erotica.

I found the piece enjoyable to explore and write, but when it was finished, I realized that it was far darker than my normal stories. I’m not afraid of dark undertones, or dark themes, however the story lacks – light. I found that what worked as a commission piece – rather well, my client loved it – did not yet work for publication. To sit along side my other stories, it was missing something.

I’ve been battling with the story ever since then. I like it and I want to publish it, but how? What would I be able to do with the story that would keep it both true to its original fantasy and still something that made sense along my other stories.

As I was working on formatting the work I am publishing today, it hit me.

Writing My Submissive Side?

As I have been writing various stories, I have noticed something.

My own inclinations, as I have discussed before, are more toward Dominant and I am currently learning to express that more, etc. In my  writing, however, my main characters are almost always submissive. In my most recent Commission piece, the two POV characters are both Dominants, but one of them enters into submission to the other as the result of a bet.

That is, however, the exception.

I don’t mind this. I don’t think it calls into question my own lifestyle role any more than writing straight/gay characters call into question my sexuality. I do find it interesting enough to write about, however, and I do wonder how many other BDSM erotica authors also write from primarily the submissive’s point of view.

Master/slave Dynamics in BDSM and Haven

So, I mentioned last week that I was going to talk about my thoughts on Master/slave relationships. In thinking about it, well – I don’t want to come across as giving relationship advice because these thoughts are really from the outside-looking-in on this one. The closest that I got to having a slave, well, I decided I didn’t really want a sexual relationship where my partner was referring to me as his goddess. I enjoy power-shift play but that was a little more than I felt I could handle.

Instead, consider this, the views that inform my writing.

So, what is a slave and how does that differ from a submissive?