Reflections of You

Friday had a few head-desk moments for me.

You know those moments. You read, watch, or listen to something that makes you just want to hit your head on a desk because you cannot believe anyone would be so – well, so whatever sets you off.

Continue reading


Why Limits and Safety Matter to Me

In a forum I am on, someone posted up a very important reminder. While the idea of public displays – leading your submissive on a leash, public nudity, public humiliation, etc – can be a powerful fantasy, the reality can bring with it consequences. When these things are done in a place that is not open/welcoming to BDSM, this can lead to arrests. Arrests can lead to all sorts of problems in the future. When it comes to things like public nudity or public displays, this can include sex-offender registries. You may think to yourself “I don’t care about that.” You will if in the future you find yourself in a divorce with children an custody is in question. Or if you are moving into a new home, that you just paid a lot of money for, and your neighbors are picketing your house. Or you can’t get a job because where you work has or is within a certain distance of a day-care or school.

A submissive responded that s/he would happily to anything his/er D-type commanded, even if illegal, with the only provision being no harm to others. Continue reading

How to Make a First Impression

Because I am beginning my search for a submissive, I am on a few sites to help facilitate meeting people of the BDSM persuasion. Yes, they are dating sites of a sort.


I know that at least a few lifestylers hang out on the site. I’ve gotten to speak to one or two.

I have had enough “Be my mistress” and “Can I be your slave” introduction emails, however, to make me wonder at the veracity of that statement.

I don’t mean people who introduce themselves to me as “Hi, my name is ____. I’m into BDSM and a submissive/slave. I know that you are looking for a submissive, and I would like to get to know you so that perhaps we would consider each other for a dynamic.” or some other similarly reasonable message.

I mean, first message in the box: “Can I be your slave?” “Can I be your submissive?” “Can I be your puppy?”

I even had one ask if he could be my bitch. Continue reading

Respect in BDSM Erotica

If you head over to StreetWraith Press After Dark (I linked around the 18+ warning because if you are going there from here, you should already be 18+ … you’re welcome) you will see a review with a similar title as this article. My first review of another author’s erotica. I hope that you find it enjoyable and that it stimulates your mind enough to want to buy the story. It’s a good one. Emily Ryan-Davis came highly recommended to me, and I recommend her as well.

What gripped me about Claiming Lauren and has me reading the rest of the eXclave series is the respect she pays to the Lifestyle and, most importantly, the safety and protocols that are so important in it. I wanted to expand on that idea a little more than I did in the review. The review was about Emily’s book, after all. Here, I can get on my soap box and talk a little more about Holle.

So let’s do so. Continue reading