Becoming a Dominant

I’ve said before, I am a Dominant – that is to say, I aspire to be a Dominant in the lifestyle. While I know a lot of things; I study; I read; I do all of the things to help me gain and share information (this blog is part of my learning experience, helping me to put together the things I learn as I go) I don’t feel ready to take on a submissive.

I don’t have the experience that would make me a responsible Dominant.

That is about to change. I am about to begin training. I’m nervous and excited about it.

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Blogging

I have been a bad girl and have not been updating the blog as often as I should. I’ve been busy with freelance work, though. Which is a good thing.

I’m trying to decide what I want to talk about next. I think one of the problems is that in freelance writing I talk about so much stuff. I mean a lot of stuff. After a while, you forget what the last article or the last story you wrote was about. Your mind just moves through the project and onto the next one. You do your best in the moment, of course, to provide a good article or an artistic story.

I like to think I do a fair job. 🙂

It keeps me busy, though.

So you get this rambling while I decide what I want to tackle on the blog next. I wax philosophical a lot. I think I want to try something practical next. So … if anyone is reading this let me know in the comments what kind of practical stuff around BDSM, sex, and erotica you want me to talk about.

What is the Difference Between Power and Control?

If you have ever taken part in a online discussion, you have seen “the question” in some form or fashion. It crops up into discussions and the answers can range from variations on interpretation to downright frightening.

Who Has Power in a BDSM Dynamic?

When you think of Power Exchange and their dynamics, your first thought might be “well, the Dominant, duh.” It’s easy to come to that conclusion. In a Dominant/submissive relationship, the Dominant is the one on the receiving end of the Power Exchange, getting and wielding power over the submissive.

The truth is a bit different. Spoilers … the submissive has the power.  Continue reading

At Her Service

What would you do with a man whose only concern was serving you?

I and several other romance and erotica authors tackled that question in one form or another in a box set that was released for Valentine’s Day. It’s my first anthology to write for and I enjoyed it. I got to work with some amazing people and see just what goes into a project like this.

I pulled part of a review below for my story, Helen and the Man from Troi. It made me smile to see the review, so I wanted to share it. My story only gets a few mentions among the reviews, but most of those mentions are positive. I will certainly not turn my nose up at a 3 1/2 star review.

Helen and the man from Troi: [Adam] is a BDSM slave with both a master and a girlfriend. He has also recently completed manservant training. Helen loves her routines and order. She has also recently broken up with her boyfriend and seems to be grieving more than just the loss of the man. Helen’s roommate Olivia is more of a wild child and wants to help Helen open up a bit more and try new things. She hires [Adam] as a present, to serve Helen for a day. I was surprised how much I liked this one. I don’t tend to enjoy BDSM in general. But this story was more of about Helen learning to let go a bit and let someone take care of her. Unlike the rest of the stories Helen and [Adam] aren’t headed toward a long term HEA (at least not with each other), but it was nice to see just a simple story of give and take and caring for another person who needs a break from the norm. (3.5 star) — reviewer Ly G

 

Holle’s Thought for the Day

The only way anyone is less of a sub is if you’re a 6-inch from Subway. That is less of a sub than a foot-long.

Otherwise, you just have a preference for what you do and do not like – just like whatever Dominant or fellow submissive who is trying to bring you down because you don’t like their “kink.”

Do You Want to Be an Alpha Male?

Then I am probably not the person to ask.

Chances are, if you want to be an Alpha Male, then you are thinking about Christian Grey or any of the other “Alpha Male” Billionaire books that are available on the market.

Now, there are a few “Alpha Billionaire” books that are not bad. The men are actually well rounded and can even – I know I am going to stir the waves when I say this – respect women. They can do this while still being Dominant men that women want to bow to, serve, and service.

Unfortunately, this is not the picture that I see when someone talks to me about the Alpha Male.

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It’s That Time Again

I’m have started a new giveaway on Rafflecopter. Just follow the link below if you’d like to sign up. I’m going to be giving away free copies of Heather in Haven and my two On the Fives collections. I will have e-books to give away, but the big giveaways will be the soft-cover versions.

giveaway coversTo enter go to a Rafflecopter giveaway.

So – topic of conversation …

If you could receive one erotic gift – anything at all – what would it be?

Remember this is WordPress so don’t go overboard, but have fun with it.