Holle Has a Lot of Thoughts

Wow, there is a lot to unpack this week. I am going to be talking about Donald Trump, Sexual Assault, and the leak from the weekend, so if any of that is triggering, be warned and ready before you read on.

Right, so …

So a tape leaked to the Washington Post with something Trump said just over a decade ago. To sum up, he talks first about pursuing a married woman and being turned down. He then talks about how he responds to beautiful women. In his words (all quotes lifted from Washington Post and the linked article),

“You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.”

If being kissed immediately upon meeting a man is not bad enough, well, it gets worse from there.

“And when you’re a star, they let you do it,” Trump says. “You can do anything.”

“Whatever you want,” says another voice, apparently Bush’s.

“Grab them by the p—y,” Trump says. “You can do anything.”

So there is that statement … from a man accused of sexually assaulting and/or harassing multiple women, including an under-aged girl.

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Yes, You Do Have to Be Taught (secret: we all do)

An image is going viral right now of a young UK man stating that he does not need to be taught not to be a rapist.

It is true that he may not need his college to teach him that. Maybe he does understand what consent and active, enthusiastic consent is. Maybe he understands how to navigate and negotiate complex situations so that he ensures that any kind of sexual encounter he has with someone is consensual.

Here is the thing, though.

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Ravishing

I’m coming back to a theme I’ve visited before.

A few times.

Why?

Because it’s an important theme.

When it come to fantasies, especially fantasies that women have, the ravishment fantasy is a big one. It gets other names, but I prefer not to use them. I think that those names do more harm than good when discussing the fantasy, creating not only blurry lines, but misunderstanding of what the fantasy actually is. When we misunderstand the fantasy, then as writers, we do not do it justice. We create stories that are not just problematic. They are irresponsible and disrespectful.

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One of the Things I Really Hate

One of the staples of romance is the idea that the romance between the two characters makes each a better person. He overcomes something through her love and support. She overcomes something through his love and strength.

I don’t hate that. It has its problems, sure, but fine. Whatever. We’re social creatures and we like to have our romance blend with the positive aspects of being social creatures. I’ll buy it for a buck, or $0.99 on Amazon, and be done with it.

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The Sexy Bad Boy

Here is the article I’m going to be talking about.

Did you know they are making a 50 Shades movie?

Probably, because everyone is talking about it. And as someone who could not get through the first chapter of the book, I’m going to say, that is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s not a bad thing because with the chatter about the books, people are also talking about the activities in the book – specifically BDSM. And with that talk, they are turning to experts.

No, not psychiatrists and health experts. Continue reading