Writing My Submissive Side?

As I have been writing various stories, I have noticed something.

My own inclinations, as I have discussed before, are more toward Dominant and I am currently learning to express that more, etc. In my  writing, however, my main characters are almost always submissive. In my most recent Commission piece, the two POV characters are both Dominants, but one of them enters into submission to the other as the result of a bet.

That is, however, the exception.

I don’t mind this. I don’t think it calls into question my own lifestyle role any more than writing straight/gay characters call into question my sexuality. I do find it interesting enough to write about, however, and I do wonder how many other BDSM erotica authors also write from primarily the submissive’s point of view.

Why do I do it?

Because in the stories that I write or that I am commissioned to write, the submissive role is usually the one who has the most to win or lose in the resolution of the conflict. I think part of this is natural to power exchange as well. The submissive in a dynamic, giving up power to the Dominant, has to then trust that Dominant to not abuse that power.

But that is an assumption. A stereotype. In a true power exchange dynamic, both parties are equally invested and both parties face risks. While the Dominant is receiving power, S/he has to rely upon the submissive to be responsible in what power is given up. What happens when the submissive hits sub space and the Dominant is not prepared for that? Or what if the Dominant is not experienced with or does not understand sub space?

In my mind, I think that the Dominant POV would be boring to write from, but I know that is not true. It does make me wonder, though. I find the submissive POV an easy one to explore and write about. Would I find a Dominant POV challenging, and would I be able to give it the same life that I provide to my submissives?

A few thoughts as I explore my writing.


5 thoughts on “Writing My Submissive Side?

  1. Your comments are interesting. I find the sub role easy to write about too (I’m a switch). There is more “drama” in it I suppose. But I have also set myself the task of writing from the Dom point of view and am enjoying the challenge. Having said that I notice the Sub stories tend to be more immediately popular on my blog.


    • Thank you.
      I’ve started writing some other things from the Dominant POV since first putting together this article (I’m moving my blog over from kinky-blogging to WordPress) and I’m finding that the scenes definitely play out differently. It is very interesting, though, to see what is at stake from the D-type perspective in a situation.
      I think that the reason the sub-stories tend to be more popular is because in a way, they are a twist on the ravishment fantasy. The submissive “gives in,” though with more agency in submission than the typical RF offers.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m still pretty new at writing – I started blogging last year on google blogger and then moved to word press when google threatened to close the adult blogs down. I didn’t even know about kinky-blogging! I find there are a lot of people writing sub stuff, but very little from the D perspective.
        I tend to think the sub has a moral “superiority” too perhaps (but maybe that’s me) which makes it easier to explore.
        Ds are…. “darker”…. and maybe their sadistic tendencies are more difficult and more uncomfortable to explore as a writer (again – maybe that’s me:) ) but then makes the challenge, I suppose.

        I have enjoyed what I have read of your blog so far and look forward to reading more.


      • Thank you.
        Yeah, Blogger is really picky about its content. Which makes me sad because I typically like Google. I enjoy WordPress. Kinky-blogging is cool in that you have a lot of freedom to be more – expressive when you write shall we say. I ended up moderating nothing but spam, though. In the almost year I’ve been blogging, I think I had only one actual comment. 🙂 It made it really disheartening and since I was not writing anything too graphic, I saw no reason not to move it.

        D’s can definitely be darker to write about. I just finished up a commission piece that is seduction story from the seducer’s POV, and I found it a real balancing act to keep the seductive tension and still present someone who was actually mindful of the person they were seducing. While not D/s, there is still a power balancing act in seduction.

        I hope you enjoy the blog. I’m going to be checking out your blog as well when I have the chance to sit down and read. I’m supposed to be writing right now (which I’m about to get to – really!) so, yeah.


        Oh, I do find the “moral superiority” of the submissive an interesting concept. I’ve not thought about D/s and seduction from a moral perspective, but I think I see what you mean. When we are looking at the seducer/dominant we are seeing someone who is taking, and that is what gets presented so many times in erotica. We don’t always see the giving side of that part of the dynamic. The submissive/seduced on the other hand, is the one giving of themselves. It’s interesting. I’m going to have to think on that more.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. There’s a quote on my blog which is supposed to be from one of the characters in the main story. “Masochism is a most noble condition. Masochism is giving. The masochist makes a gift of himself or herself. The masochist offers all for love. Body, soul, freedom are all surrendered for the pleasure of another.
    He or she will even desire and enjoy intense pain in order to satisfy the needs of another.
    And the masochist only ever gives love in return.”

    I tend to agree with that . And I find it easy to write about characters who who see themselves like that.

    I also agree about your comment about Ds. The darker side of the D (and therefore myself) is a much more uncomfortable place. Unless the D is empathizing (which a switch does) giving the sub what he / she wants then it’s ok but I don’t think many Ds do that..

    So if that isn’t happening then… yes it’s dark.

    I also bear in mind that actually some people want to read that. – the really sadistic dom. I’ve had feedback to paint them like that. Some subs enjoy that fantasy…

    Liked by 1 person

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