The only way anyone is less of a sub is if you’re a 6-inch from Subway. That is less of a sub than a foot-long.
Otherwise, you just have a preference for what you do and do not like – just like whatever Dominant or fellow submissive who is trying to bring you down because you don’t like their “kink.”
As I am getting out there in the BDSM world again, I have joined several communities. I can learn (you should always, no matter your role, be learning something in my opinion), I can share my experiences, I can discuss, meet people, get new ideas, promote my sites and work (in the respective groups set up for it, of course. I would not dream of breaking boundaries).
Overall, I have to say I’ve liked the experience. I have seen some pretty out-there things, stuff that I would never consider doing, much less know that others are partaking in. It’s been expanding for me because I learn to push past my squik factor and accept something non-normative. I still may come away with the opinion that it is not for me, however I also come away with a new perspective on what that thing is.
That is a good thing. One of the cornerstones of BDSM is that from a community standpoint it is open, welcoming, and nonjudgmental. It needs to be. Even though certain shady books have opened up the idea of BDSM to more people, it is still very stigmatized – especially some of the more hard-core activities. People who partake in the lifestyle still find that they cannot actively discuss it without worry – worry that they will lose friends, family (including children, which is unfortunate), and income. Having an open and welcoming BDSM community, whether local or online, is so important. Continue reading