Becoming a Dominant

I’ve said before, I am a Dominant – that is to say, I aspire to be a Dominant in the lifestyle. While I know a lot of things; I study; I read; I do all of the things to help me gain and share information (this blog is part of my learning experience, helping me to put together the things I learn as I go) I don’t feel ready to take on a submissive.

I don’t have the experience that would make me a responsible Dominant.

That is about to change. I am about to begin training. I’m nervous and excited about it.

I’m about to Begin Submissive Training

What’s that you say? You thought I wanted to be a Domme? I do and I plan to. However … I want to train in a way that is closer to the Old Guard traditions. The idea of training in a way that I earn the right to be a Dominant is appealing to me from a psychological standpoint. While I will not be training in exactly the OG way, I will be going through Submissive training and then transitioning to Dominant training when I am ready.


I have some experience being a Top and a bottom, but it is limited. I have things I would love to do as a Dominant and I believe having experienced them from the submissive side, I will be better able to train my own submissive in them.

Think about it this way. If you were hiring me to be a manager, would you prefer that I had experience working in the field? The answer is yes.

That is the philosophy that I apply to my role as a Dominant. It is not the right path for everyone, but it is the right path for me.

Do I Have Ulterior Motives? (read: Am I Secretly Wanting to Be a submissive?)


No. I know the path that I want in the lifestyle. That said, I enjoy being a bottom for bondage and impact play, so I know that I have submissive leanings. Many of the things I will be doing in my training, however, are not things that I aspire to do beyond that. I am willing to do them so that I understand those things in a deep way and will be prepared to guide a submissive through them, but that is not the same as wanting them the way a submissive does.

That said, I am willing to accept the idea that those thoughts change. Enjoying being a bottom sometimes, I know what the desire and appeal is to submission. I may find myself in a place that I could, sometimes, enjoy submission. If I do, then I will adjust my outlook and goals accordingly. It will not, however, affect my desire to seek a submissive.

The Fun Part

So, I have two things that I will use during training. I have a training collar that will become the training collar I will use for a submissive. I also have a pair of pretty cuffs. Those will also be session tools to use on my submissive.

They are my rewards for completing my training.


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