I am going to begin talking about Sex and Sexuality. While I can begin that conversations a lot of places, I thought something personal might be nice. Nothing, I thought, is more personal than Masturbation, so here we are. I will add other topics to this category as well, so please, enjoy.
When I was younger, I was terrified of the idea of masturbating.
Well, I would not say “terrified” is the right word. It was not something I did. It was something that in my teen years I learned was not a “good thing” – that is to say it was not something that a good Christian girl did.
When I started college, I had a boyfriend. We will call him C (for Cannabis, which he smoked a lot of). C had his faults to be true, but he did help to open me up sexually. He helped me realize that masturbation was not bad, that it was not unhealthy, that it felt good, and that it could and should be fun. It still took some time for me to really incorporate that idea. That awakening, though, helped me understand more about myself, including understanding my own sexuality – namely that I might not be straight (as it turned out, I was Bi).
Are There Benefits to Masturbation?
So here is a good and fun article about it. Do go read it. In the meantime, here are the benefits of Masturbating.
- It releases happy chemicals in the brain (things like Dopamine). Releasing happy chemicals regularly is good for your mental health. While masturbation will not cure things like depression, it can certainly help (alongside treatment) with the effects of it.
- For women, some of the chemicals released help ease pain, which means it actually helps to ease menstrual cramps.
- For men, it helps lower your risk of prostate cancer and helps with fertility. You are not wasting sperm. You are making sure that when you try to get your partner pregnant that the ones you shoot out are strong and fresh.
- It releases chemicals that help you sleep. Ever notice how you are tired after a good orgasm with your partner? Well, it works with masturbation as well, so if you have trouble getting to sleep, give it a try.
My Own Personal Experiences
I find masturbation is a good time for me to work through sexual fantasies. This is where masturbation becomes the most fun for me. As a writer, creative energy is something I enjoy, so blending it with the chemicals that come from an orgasm … I like writing erotica for a reason.
Which is what I am getting to here. Much of the erotica I write (except for On the Fives, which is commission work) comes from fantasies I have when I masturbate. When I started writing erotica, I was working with my husband to edit stories and develop ideas. I found that by sharing these fantasies and ideas with him, we developed a more intimate connection.
So by masturbating, I was in turn creating a situation where I was deepening my relationship with my partner.
Masturbation is sometimes part of our pre-sex routine. For me, masturbation does two things. Sometimes, it helps ensure that I am in the mood for sex, where I might have otherwise been tired or stressed from a busy day. Having an orgasm also makes sex more pleasurable, since I am sensitive afterwards. While I can (and do) get that from foreplay with him, when it comes from masturbation, it lets him play voyeur while he finishes up stuff he is working on and it lets me take a little time to just indulge myself.
So there, you have some science and some anecdotes.
Now, go have fun!