I’m tired of seeing this, but I feel that I have to say something about it. In part, I need to say something about it because I see a lot being said that is – rude to be honest.
I could start off with memes and I am going to. I’m going to use, however, the least offensive memes to introduce today’s topic.
But Holle, you say, why are you worried about offending this woman?
I’m not. My existence would offender her. I’m a bisexual polyamourist with a more than passing interest in seeing (or rather doing the tying) a woman tied up and at my less than tender mercies. I don’t need to say or share anything to offend this woman. I think her words and actions pretty much show that by breathing, I would do that.
While my existence may be offensive to her – or maybe she is one of those who does not mind me existing as long as she does not have to see, interact with, or be near me – that does not mean I have to actively do things to further that offense.
I have seen this woman, Kim Davis, body shamed and slut shamed because of her stance in refusing to issue marriage licenses. Two wrongs, however, do not make a right. We don’t get to be horrible people because she does horrible things. We instead show the best of humanity so that her horrible deeds have a bright light shone upon them. By being good people, her wickedness is apparent and her attempts to serve as a martyr show her as being self-serving and selfish.
Does it hurt? Sure.
Does it hurt us? No.
Nor does being nice help her. When we refuse to shame her body or her past, we do not help her in any way. What we do is keep others from being able to point the finger at our hypocrisy. We keep others from being able to point out her persecution.
Being fired and/or arrested is not persecution.
She is not Peter. or Paul. or any of the other Apostles.
Okay, she has a lot in common with Paul, so forget I said that.
She is not suffering, however, because of her faith. She is “suffering” because of her own actions. She refuses to do her sworn duty and uphold the law. If she cannot uphold her duties, then she does not deserve to hold the job she has. That is plain and simple. If she keeps others from upholding their duties against a court order, then she is in contempt of court and yes, arrest is just to follow.
“But she is being persecuted for her faith.”
No. She is, however, in refusing to carry out the law persecuting others based on her faith. When she say that the legal union of two men or two women, though legal in the US, is null and void, she is saying that they do not get the same rights as other couples. When she refuses to carry out her duty, she says that not everyone is equal under the law.
The thing is, she does not get to use her faith to decide that. When she does, she subject others to her religion. She makes her religion a part of her government office. That is not something she can, by the laws of this country, do. If she does not like that, then she needs to find a new job.
Plain and simple.
I can’t always do my job
I often refuse work. A client wants a story that I cannot write due to my own convictions. The difference between Davis and myself, however, is that in refusing to write the story, I do not prevent a client from having that story produced. Likewise, I am not obligate to write every story requested of me. No one’s right to anything is infringed when I say that I will not write a Fratire or a Step-Father/step-daughter erotica.
I am not the only place the stories can be obtained in my little corner of cyber space. By stating I will not write them, I do not prevent other authors from doing so. We all have our comfort levels in writing. What surpasses mine is within another author’s. The quality of writing may or may not be as good, but that is not my problem.
Now, if I advertised that I would write any story or if I worked through a service that guaranteed my services, a client would be in their right to complain when I refused a story. At that point, I would be breaking contract in refusing service.
If I refused service and blogged with the person’s user name in such a way that implied that anyone who wrote the requested story was doing something terrible, the client would have the right to complain. At that point, I am using my visible presence to put pressure on other authors not to take the work.
I do blog about things that I refuse to write, but I do make it clear that this is me refusing to write it and why. I like to think anyone who follows my blog understands that what works for me does not work for everyone and what does not work for me might work for some. If you don’t know that, consider yourself informed now.
So there you have it, all I will say on this Kim Davis mess.
As to her previous marriages –
When one uses ones religious convictions to determine how one performs civic duties and deny rights to others, one does open up ones life to criticism.
However, we are talking about a Born Again Christian. In addition to being more fanatical than most, this also places her past in a special case. Yes she is divorced. Yes, that is still considered adultery under her beliefs.
However, one of the things about being Born Again – you start over with a clean slate. As far as she, her church, and her path to God are concerned, she has no previous marriages. If she wanted, she could declare herself a virgin again upon converting and as far as her religion and religious convictions are concerned, that would be true until she decided to shtoop again.
It is one of the appeals of evangelism and one of the biggest aggravations when you are outside looking in. Yes, we want to hold her accountable for her past actions. She has tossed off her accountability to God. Now if she continues her life maintaining her clean slate, she will show that she has still learned from her past and she will show that getting that clean slate has empowered her to live clean moving forward.
She probably believes that is the case right now.
We on the outside know that is rarely true. At least, for what we get to see it is rarely true. Too often those born again fall right back into their old sins. Why? Not because their faith is weak, but because they refused to learn how to keep themselves out of those old ways. It does not matter if the vice is adultery, drugs and alcohol, or anything else. She has to learn for herself how to make the choices that keep her from falling to them. She cannot use a crutch to keep herself out.
Her faith will keep her clean only if she has accepted culpability for her actions, even as she accepts the penalty being paid by someone else. Only she can say if she has. Only time will tell if she demonstrates that moving forward.
If and when she does not, then and only then can her hypocrisy be recognized. Unfortunately, by that time, all of this will have blown past us. She will have learned nothing and we will have learned (hopefully) to move past her.